Don't Worry-Trust in Him

Since God made us, I'm going to assume He knew in advance what worrisome people we would be. I think as homeschooling moms, we worry even more because we feel the pressure of our children's success or failure on our shoulders. We do carry a heavier load than most women, as we usually spend close to 24/7 with our precious bundles of joy & along with the regular jobs of homemaking, this can be quite a trial.
Matthew 6:34 says " Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself." I believe God told us this so that we would stay focused on today's business and do the best we can with today. Worrying about tomorrow or next week or even next year does no good, because we don't know what will be. God knows, and He has everything in control and knows exactly what we will accomplish, fail at, and go through. His plan is perfect-though I'm sure each of us can look and say that we have a hard time understanding that one!
I have had many trials during my travels down the path of life and I have cried out to Him on more than one occasion, begging for His intercession. I think that is one reason we do have trials. They teach us to rely on Him. I know that I would not be who I am today if not for those painful, scary times. I can honestly say I didn't appreciate going through those growing lessons, but looking back now-I wouldn't change anything because I am His child and as my Father, He knew exactly where I would go, what I would do and what He could use me for. I thank Him for being beside me every step of the way, even when I traveled down a path He didn't desire me to take.
Because of His faithfulness during my trials, I know that I can fully rely on Him to take care of everything. I don't have to worry, fret, be uncertain or doubt myself-because He is leading me and I trust Him completely. I was asked some years ago how I hear Him. I didn't understand at first. I thought the woman was asking me if I heard his actual voice (and then maybe considered I might be crazy). I talked with God about her question and came back to her. I told her how I hear Him, and after she said she doesn't hear Him, I asked her if she was listening for His voice. That conversation made me realize that I do hear Him clearly and I am forever thankful that I do.
The next step in hearing Him-is to actually listen. Don't second guess whether it's Him. Dive in and answer. As you do this, you will see Him answer and after awhile you will hear Him and know to do His bidding. I have a child like faith. I just assume He wants me to obey and I do. Somedays I will admit, I may have an additional conversation with Him-telling Him it's not really something I want to do, or asking to be released from a task He has asked me to complete. God has a great sense of humor. Whenever I get into one of these conversations with Him, he uses humor to bring me around to His will. That our God is so patient with us is amazing. That He offers us grace each day, a new beginning-is a blessing. Imagine if He tallied up our sins, errors, disobedience etc each day. We'd surely be in trouble!
As homeschooling moms, we can sure get ourselves worked up into a tizzy. Am I doing my best, are my children learning everything they should, what else should I be doing? Did I miss anything? I'm quite sure the majority of us are doing our best, that are children will never learn everything they should and that we will miss things along the way. We are not perfect, nor are our children.
Matthew 6:8 says, "Your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask Him." He knows what you need, what your children will need and what their children will need. He also has a plan for each of them. He has given them gifts and will lead them to use the gift He has blessed them with to do His service. What He asks of us is to do our best to teach them to hear Him, to follow Him and to obey Him. He will take care of it from there. Thank you Father for being faithful to my children, and to want the best for them and to love them far more than I could ever hope to.
Psalm 25:4 says "Teach me thy ways, O Lord; teach me thy paths. Lead me in thy truth, and teach me." I ask Him to do this for me consistently. I also ask Him to do this for each one of my precious children. I ask Him for the wisdom to do what is right for each child or adult child in my case. I ask Him to give me the words that they are to hear that will bring them to the place He wants them to be. I am human. I will not do it right always. I cannot. I accept this and do the best I can, trusting God's word-that He will fill in those gaps of learning and be there to help my children succeed. I have already been blessed to see the answers from Him and do trust Him, explicitly! He alone, can do everything. We, with His help, can do much.
Give your worries to Him-He can and will handle them for you.

Our Father's Gift

Many times over the past month my mind has reminded me that I haven't written a new post here. I have been afraid to bore you with the same thoughts day in and day out, so have not written at all. My lovely aunt wrote me this, "When I need to be reminded of God's complete provision for each one of us, I refer back to your blog and read it all over again!!" It suggested to me that it is not my job to decide what you should hear from me, but to speak from my heart and let you decide what to take away from the blog. So, I humbly write once again...
There has been a great sadness in my heart of late. My sister would have turned 41 in the first week of September, and each year I miss her more than ever. It is hard to miss someone so much day after day. I am so very thankful that she is in heaven with Jesus waiting for our reunion. I know my dad was really feeling her absence this past month as well. He posted an adorable picture she had made for him when she was young. I so enjoyed seeing another glimpse of my sister's heart. I truly cannot fathom how anyone can survive a day not knowing that heaven is waiting for the believer.
I have been receiving daily updates on a man who will soon go home to the Lord. He is one of the first attorneys for Home School Legal Defense. His name is Chris and he has suffered for years from MS, and is now at the end of this suffering. He has such a beautiful heart for our Father, and I have to say I admire him and the work he has done for each one of us that homeschool, always honoring the Lord in his work. His wife Tracy, is an amazing woman. She faithfully writes to us letting us know how Chris is fairing each day, always reminding us of God's perfect timing, love and grace. How brave she is! Her faithful husband, companion and father of her children is leaving to go home and each day she thanks God. Wow! I do not know if I could be so brave. My heart aches for this family each day as they say goodbye to this loving man. Their faith is evident and encourages me to once again face another day. I am confident that Chris will hear Good Job, My Faithful Servant when he arrives to meet our Saviour. I have never met this man, yet my heart hurts so badly. I want to wrap my arms around this family and tell them how much I care.
That we believers have a new beginning is a most precious gift. Yes, we hurt here on earth especially when a loved one goes ahead, but knowing we will meet again makes each day survivable as I continue to do God's bidding while I await His return.

Walking By Faith

"For we walk by faith, not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7

Faith-to trust. 1. unquestioning belief, specific. in God, a religion, etc. 2. a particular religion 3. a complete trust or confidence 4. loyalty

My faith is the only unshakable constant in my life. No matter where I've walked or what I've done; my faith has been there. I honestly cannot imagine life with no faith. I have leaned on my faith for everything. That my faith has been loyal to me is beyond question. I completely and totally trust that walking in faith is the only way to live.

I am so secure in the knowledge that God leads me, watches over me, protects me and teaches me. That He loves me is the most amazing treasure I have. He is my Abba, my daddy, and I am his child. What a daddy to have loving me-me, the one who lets Him down. How can He love so loyally when we hurt His heart so often? I have a childlike love for Him, and with all my heart do believe that He knows my heart and forgives me daily, like we forgive our children. To know His arm is wrapped around my shoulder as I walk through each day, or that His arms hold me tightly when my heart hurts so badly-is the joy of my soul. I believe that I make my Abba laugh on many occasions and I love the imaginary picture I have of Him in my mind's eye. His eyes shine so brightly with love and laughter, He is beautiful, handsome-although I cannot really tell you what He looks like. That He has been faithful to me, never leaving my side is amazing. I love Him with my whole heart, mind and soul. Each day, I wake looking for my Abba, asking Him what I can do today to grow in faith, to reach out and touch someone for Him. What would He have me do today to ease some one's pain, or to show them His loving heart.

I am so very blessed to know such a magnificent God. A God who accepts me for who I am. A most patient God, that waits for me to grow in Him. A loving God, who showers me with His love and blessings. A faithful God, who never leaves my side. A humorous God, who makes me laugh-and brings resounding joy to my heart, my lips. A fearless God, who gives me shelter and safety in His loving arms. Thank you Abba, for loving me and for being my most precious treasure.

Freedom

I have been focusing on our freedoms this past week as we prepare to celebrate our country's Independence Day. I have thanked our troops and their families for their service and protection, and I have thanked God for my being able to live in this country of freedom. As I've pondered, many thoughts have popped into my head, so decided to share them here today. I put myself in another woman's shoes that lives in a country without freedom-especially because she is a woman. I wondered how she would view us and all that we get to experience on a daily basis, only because we live in America. We are allowed to dress however we desire, we can style our hair, wear makeup or not, enjoy whatever jewelry catches our eyes and be a woman. We can walk the streets and malls without an escort, and enjoy a meal in a restaurant without a chaperone. We can have a conversation with our husbands, and speak our needs usually without fear of reprisals. We can walk beside our man, holding his hand if we so desire, and not look shameful. We can be silly, fun and free spirited with our children and not suffer the looks of disdain that others must suffer. Can you imagine what she must think, as she looks at her daily life in comparision to ours?
Another freedom I am thanking the Lord for today is the freedom to grow. I am not held back by society or my family, but instead am encouraged to grow and blossom. God is the best at encouraging me to grow and become whom He wants me to be. I am truly enjoying this time in my life, as I am growing by leaps and bounds. I am proud of the woman I have become and look forward to the amazing growth that I'm sure is yet to come.
Thank you Father for our tremendous freedoms. I pray that everyone would look upon the 4th of July, not only as the celebration of our nation but also at the freedoms that You have bestowed upon us as individuals and that we will be a more grateful people.

Suffering

As I write this, I am suffering. It is an almost constant in my world, but some days are far worse than others. Today, I am up and able to move around-albeit slowly. Having daily suffering has taught me so much, and I am pretty sure that is why God has allowed me to suffer so. I have had Fibromyalgia for 27 years. I also suffer from horrific migraines and a lower back injury that creates intense pain in my lower back and causes my back to go out at any minute. 8 years ago, I was bedridden most of the month. Homeschooled from bed, cared for my granddaughter from bed, quite often. Thankfully, I had very caring boys to help me, and a fabulous husband who covered me when I couldn't do a task. Now, I am up and running, and forever grateful. I have to remember to rest, and I will admit I am not good at that. So, every once in awhile-my body shuts down and demands that I rest.
I suffer unbearable pain on a daily basis, yet have figured out a way to deal with that pain-and lead a productive, happy life. I am thankful that God made me such a courageous, big hearted person who loves to meet the needs of others and do His bidding. That keeps the focus off of my troubles and keeps me busy doing His work. I enjoy working for the Lord, and find much comfort in knowing I am there to be a help to someone else.
When my suffering goes past bearable, I can fall into the trap of feeling sorry for myself. I get meloncholy, teary, and usually will try not to care about anyone but myself. It surely doesn't last long though, as I feel God knudging me to get back to Him. I usually will remember what Jesus suffered for me, and give myself a good kick and get back to life once again! How could my pain possibly trump His? How dare I, feel my suffering is more than what He suffered everyday. Every once in awhile, I have a good pity party, then get back to my precious life. Thank you Jesus, for suffering for me and for preparing a place for me-where I will never suffer again.

My Hubby

So many thoughts run through my head throughout each day. My heart swells many times a day as I think of my many blessings. One of my favorite blessings is my husband, Bob. He is amazing. He treats me so well. He is always going above and beyond to care for me, and to help me in everything that I do. He encourages me always. He lifts any heavy burdens I may have, and is always there to lend me a hand. He takes my load and makes it so much lighter. He makes me laugh, and makes me proud. He knew I was ill when he married me, so he knew it would be a rough road. He doesn't complain, nor does he treat me like I am a burden to him. He is my friend, my confidant, my love, and I am so thankful that God gave him to me to love. God also gives me a nod when my tired husband has had too much. He tells me that it is Bob's turn to be cared for in an extra special way, so that he can continue on knowing that I love him and always appreciate all that he does for me. He's good to my friends and always has a smile to offer. They tell me often how lucky I am to have such a wonderful man. I know! I try to always remember to tell him how thankful I am for all he does for us. I write him notes that I hide in his lunchbox. I buy him the movies and music that he enjoys. I try to find time for us to go out, alone and just enjoy each others company without the distractions of home. I am an amazingly grateful woman. God has blessed me so much by giving me this generous, thoughtful, faithful man to love. Thank you my darling husband-for being who you are, and for loving me so.

Spring Thankfullness

At last-glorious spring has arrived! No matter where you live, spring is the signal that new life is awakening. You can hear the birds chirping, the smell of new roses, and all the other spring flowers are so exciting. The sun warming our bodies, our minds-telling us that it's almost finished. Another school year is coming to an end. Even for year rounders like myself, spring seems to awaken new hope in me. Excitement for what will come in the next year on my journey. Hope that I'll survive as I can see the end of these books, classes and the same daily routine. I believe that God created spring to give us that hope-for whatever we need to conquer. This is the time that we homeschool moms are looking at new curriculum, deciding what to do next year and praying that we'll make the right choices. I love this time of year. I feel refreshed, my spirit is renewed and I'm ready to continue my daily walk with the sunshine upon my face. Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." I thank God for spring. He knew we moms would be weary after a winter indoors with our blessings. Many of you are celebrating the warming days, the snow disappearing, and God's bountiful beauty awakening-once again. I think that God also made the seasons, so that we would stop, breathe and remember to praise and thank Him for giving us everything. As you finish up your winter's work and look forward to the lazy days of summer, remember to thank Him for these glorious short days of spring. Days to get so much more done as our spirits are lifted and we have a happy tune in our hearts.

The Perfect Gift

This is a week that any Christian mother can relate to. I cannot fathom how Mary endured watching helplessly as her son was beaten, abused, spit upon, shamed and crucified. I cannot fathom what she must have been thinking. She knew that God had given her this son, for a purpose--but I cannot imagine she thought it would be for this! Think about it. We have the Bible. To explain so much, to guide us and to tell us God's will and plans for us. What did she have to guide her? She was right there in the moment, dying of heartbreak along with her child. It brings me to my knees in sorrow that Jesus would endure such a thing-for any of us. Do you think He explained to his mother what was happening? It doesn't say so, anywhere that I'm aware.
Having children, we can have but a minute inkling of what she went through. I don't know if I could do that. Could you?
I am so very grateful that Jesus went to the cross, so that we may go to heaven. What an amazing gift. A sacrifice that beats any sacrifice. My heart cries this week, as I spend time reflecting on this perfect son, who loved His father enough, to do His will-and loved us enough to suffer a most horrible time, so that we may be free.
We all suffer here on Earth. He said it would be that way. When I am suffering, I try to remember how He suffered-and that makes my suffering seem so small in comparison. Thank you Jesus! For your most precious gift. I am not deserving of such a fine and perfect gift-but accept it with gratitude. I will do my best to be your loving, faithful servant and spread the message of Your gift--everywhere I can.

Growing Up As A Mom

I listen to so many moms that are mired in the day to day caring of babies, toddlers and young people, that get frustrated because they have no time to do what they want to do. They are delighted with their young ones, but long for some creative time, or personal time for themselves. I too felt that way many times, but alas, age has me in a place now where I have one (not so small) young one left at home. Being a teen, he doesn't need me for every little thing anymore, and I'm okay with that. He's growing into the man God created him to be, and it's very important to me that he learns to be independent, so he will have a full life. After having many birds fly from my nest, I have seen what is good, and not so good. I am pleased with how my last one is growing. I am also thrilled to find time to do all of those many things I wanted to do forever, but just couldn't-- because of my duties as a mother. I am growing into the woman God created me to be. Yes, He created me to be a mother, and don't get me wrong, I love my job. I have been raising children for more than 30 years. By the time my youngest is 18, I will have been a full-time mom for 38 years. Imagine that. You will probably be a full-time mom for about 20 or so. God knew my heart, and gave me many blessings to raise-including some that didn't actually belong to me! I am thankful. Now, seasons in my home are changing. I will have more time to do what I've always longed to do. This is very exciting! Becoming the bloom that God planted so long ago, is an amazing adventure. I am realizing many dreams as I grow older. I am writing, teaching, creating, learning, and enjoying those moments I do get to myself.
I want to encourage you moms who are weary from your house full of young ones. It does not go on forever, no matter how much you think it will. Honestly, you will turn your head and it's over. Your babies have flown the coop-if you've done your job correctly. Self-sacrifice is a must for you to have children that grow to be great adults. Our job is long, time consuming, many times thankless, and can be very frustrating. It is also the most rewarding job on the planet. You are shaping the future. God's men and women, that He will use for His glory. March on my friends! Hold on to your little ones, as they will be gone before you know it. Enjoy the journey, and know that your future holds great times of self, after you finish this job that God has given to you.

A Mother's Love

It's an amazing thing-a mother's love. Our hearts hold so much more than we think is even possible. The love we have for our children is immeasurable. It does not matter how young or old they are, we love them-period.
I am ever so thankful for God's wisdom when He created a mothers heart. He knew there would be many hard roads we would travel upon, so He gave us a heart that seems to continually grow to hold all that needs holding.
Watching a grown child hurt emotionally, is almost too much to bear. You want to treat them like the adult they are, to respect their need for independence, and at the same time, you want to cradle them in your arms and tell them that it's okay, and make their hurt go away. You remember the days of long ago, when they were little and a hug from you was all it took to make rainbows appear in their eyes once again.
I was able to have a rare opportunity with one of mine, to be there when he needed me the most. To be his confidant and to help guide him through his heartaches. I feel so very blessed to have a heart that can see my children's hearts. We've had our rough patches, but we are still connected, he and I. To look at your grown son, is to see the little boy you once bounced on your knee. The little boy who asked you to marry him, because you were the most wonderful girl in his world. The little one who knew he could count on you; forever.
No matter how old your child becomes, he is your little one, always. A love story of its own. He will marry, have children of his own and become the man you have trained him to be. Yet, somewhere in that man's frame is your cherished sweet boy.
What a blessing it is, to be able to have such a relationship, and a love that lasts a lifetime.

True Blessings

I was able to have all four of the Northern California grandkids this past week. What a blessing these little people are to me. I delight in their personalities, what they find funny, how innocent they are, and how they delight in the simple things of life. I was finally able to get a picture of the 4 together. What a fiascal that was! You try to get 4 kids, 8 and under to look at the camera, let alone maybe smile. I did get a couple that are good, and I will of course treasure them all as I remember the fun of trying to get it accomplished. We made cupcakes together. They all like to help me bake, so I gave each a job of their own, and as a team we made wonderful mini cupcakes together. As they baked, the kids made foam butterflies with a kit I bought. They each made one for my "In The Garden With Jesus" art room. I treasure each little gift from their sweet, great big hearts. Sam enjoyed the time playing with Kaylee (he's closest to her since we babysat her for 2 1/2 years) when he was 5. He sees Jordan often, so they play all the time. Sam is enjoying teaching Jordan about all the things Sam loves. Ethan and Jordan enjoyed playing together, as they don't see each other as often as they would like. My heart swells to overflowing with love for these little beings that God has blessed me with. Thank you Lord, for the gift of children. The gift of their laughter, unconditional love, and bright eyes. I have no trouble seeing why You delight in them so.

God's gift of friendship

It's a beautiful thing; friendship. Whether you have one, or many, God knew we as women would need other women in our daily walk to nurture our hearts. I am incredibly thankful for the women in my life. I am truly blessed to have a dear friend for 22 years. Even though the distance between us is long, we have a beautiful friendship. I have many new friends that I am enjoying getting to know, and a few that I have known now for many years, that I treasure. I honestly don't know how my heart would survive without these nurturing women. One gave me a gift the other day, a cd with Christian music in memory of the anniversary of my cherished little sister's passing. It will be 7 years next week, and it's always hard for me around this time. She was my "bestest" sister, friend and little girl. Knowing that she is waiting for me with Jesus, makes the loss of my sweet Jewls bearable. The music is so fitting for this time, and I thank you dear friend for taking care of my heart.
As Valentine's Day approaches, remember those special friends that take care of your heart. A most beautiful gift from God. James 1:17

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Welcome to My World

Now that I have the task of getting my business on line finished, I thought I'd create a place where I can share my personal world and my walk with Jesus. I wrote a column for our homeschool support group called A Whisper of Wisdom, so thought that to be a fitting title for this blog. I really don't know where it will lead, but I am always willing to walk down a path the Lord lays before me. I hope that as you come back to visit, you will find refreshment for your soul. As homeschoolers, our path is sometimes littered with stumbling blocks, and knowing there are others out there traveling the same path, seems to make it easier. If you have any questions regarding this journey we are on, just as in my column, I will try to answer them. If you have thoughts and ideas to express, please do. May you have a glorious day blessing our Lord.