As I write this, I am suffering. It is an almost constant in my world, but some days are far worse than others. Today, I am up and able to move around-albeit slowly. Having daily suffering has taught me so much, and I am pretty sure that is why God has allowed me to suffer so. I have had Fibromyalgia for 27 years. I also suffer from horrific migraines and a lower back injury that creates intense pain in my lower back and causes my back to go out at any minute. 8 years ago, I was bedridden most of the month. Homeschooled from bed, cared for my granddaughter from bed, quite often. Thankfully, I had very caring boys to help me, and a fabulous husband who covered me when I couldn't do a task. Now, I am up and running, and forever grateful. I have to remember to rest, and I will admit I am not good at that. So, every once in awhile-my body shuts down and demands that I rest.
I suffer unbearable pain on a daily basis, yet have figured out a way to deal with that pain-and lead a productive, happy life. I am thankful that God made me such a courageous, big hearted person who loves to meet the needs of others and do His bidding. That keeps the focus off of my troubles and keeps me busy doing His work. I enjoy working for the Lord, and find much comfort in knowing I am there to be a help to someone else.
When my suffering goes past bearable, I can fall into the trap of feeling sorry for myself. I get meloncholy, teary, and usually will try not to care about anyone but myself. It surely doesn't last long though, as I feel God knudging me to get back to Him. I usually will remember what Jesus suffered for me, and give myself a good kick and get back to life once again! How could my pain possibly trump His? How dare I, feel my suffering is more than what He suffered everyday. Every once in awhile, I have a good pity party, then get back to my precious life. Thank you Jesus, for suffering for me and for preparing a place for me-where I will never suffer again.
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You sound a lot like my mother. She has had fibromyalgia for about as long as you. She also has back problems, arthritis, neuorpathy in her feet and legs, also. she is almost constantly in pain, too. She also loves the Lord!
ReplyDeleteI have fibromyalgia also along with my 4 sisters too. All in varying degrees. So I know your pain, too. God bless you and give you strength to carry on for Him.